July 5th: Selflessness

selflessness (al-eethar)

Hadith: “None of you will have faith till he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself.”

Meaning of Al-Eethar: giving preference to others over yourself and considering their happiness and welfare before your own for the sake of Allah.

Examples of Al-eethar:
In a severe winter's night in Al-Madinah, a woman of the Ansar (The Muslims of Madinah who sponsored and defended the Call to Islam) brought a woven velvet cloak to the Prophet (PBUH). The Prophet (PBUH) took it, as he was in need of it to protect himself from the severe cold. Then, the Prophet (PBUH) came out wearing it for the first time, just as you would buy a new suit and wear it for the first time. One of the Companions from the Ansar looked at him and said, “How nice it is! O Messenger of Allah, give it to me”. What would your reaction be if you were in the place of the Prophet? The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Yes” and gave it to him on the spot. Peace be upon you, O Messenger of Allah. Do you realize the meaning of al-’eethar now? The Companions became angry with the Ansari and told him, “the Prophet is in need of it!” The man replied, “I am in need of it more than he is. I want to make it my shroud when I die”.

Another example:
Twenty three years after the mission of the Prophet (PBUH) had started, Makkah and Khaibar were opened (to Islam) and booty was gained. During this period of the mission, the Prophet and the Companions were suffering hardships and poverty to the extent that the Prophet (PBUH) used to fasten two stones against his stomach out of hunger. After Allah had granted Muslims victory, the Prophet's share of booty was a number of sheep enough to cover the space between two mountains. Imagine! Such a huge number of sheep became the possession of a poor man who had experienced poverty for such a long time. However, the Prophet (PBUH) sought the reward of the hereafter. An Arabian came to the Prophet and looked at the booty. The Prophet asked him, “Do you like it?” The Arabian answered, “Yes.” The Prophet said, “It is yours.” The Arabian wondered, “O Muhammad! Are you serious? The Prophet said, “Yes, take it if you wish”. Do you imagine to what extent one can prefer others to himself? The Arabian ran to the sheep and looking all around him took them all. Then he returned to his people, saying, “Embrace Islam. I have just been with the best man that ever has been. Muhammad gives with the generosity of a person who has no fear of poverty”.

Another example:
A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) and told him that he had nothing to eat. The Prophet sent a messenger to ask his wives if they had food. However, when they were asked, each replied, “No, by Allah I have nothing except water.” The Prophet stood and called his Companions, “Who will entertain this man as a guest?” An Ansari said, “I will, O Messenger of Allah.” Afterwards, the man took the guest and went quickly to his wife and asked her, “Do you have food?” She replied, “We have nothing except the food of my children” - that is to say, the remaining food that could only suffice their children. Then, he told her, “Make your children forget the food, put them to sleep if they ask for supper, and turn the lamp off when the guest comes so that he would think that we are eating and would eat like us.”
-Nowadays we hide food from each other

There are other examples of the Companions' ‘eethar towards the Prophet (PBUH) in which they were ready to give away their souls not just their money:

On the day of the battle of Uhud, while arrows were shot towards the Prophet (PBUH) from every direction, Abu-Dogana gave preference to the Prophet over himself and hugged him in order to protect him from arrows. Abu-Bakr said, “When I looked at the back of Abu-Dogana, it was pierced by so many arrows that he looked like a hedgehog.” He gave preference to the Prophet over himself and went on doing that although he was wounded. Where is our ‘eethar towards the Prophet? Do we foster his Sunnah?

Examples of the Ansar’s ‘eethar to the Muhajireen:
Sa’d Ibn-Al-Rabi (an Ansari) hosted Abdur-Rahman Ibn-Ouf, a Muhajir (an emigrant). The former said to the latter, “Here is my money. I will divide it between you and me. This is your share and this is mine. Here is my property. I will divide it equally between you and me. I have two wives. See which of the two you like so that I may divorce her and you can marry her after she completes her Iddah (prescribed retreat)”. Can you see to what extent they were practicing al-’eethar? However, Abdur-Rahman Ibn-Ouf was decent and did not make use of this opportunity. He replied, “May Allah grant you good reward. Where is the market?”

-How much clothes do we have? Do we wear all of them or do some still have the tags on them? Why can’t we give them away?
-When we do give away something, do we give from the best that we have? Or do we give our old things that we no longer need?
-The ansar would give from their best.

Benefits of eethar:
-it promises jannah
-it cleans our hearts from its diseases: such as envy, miserliness, jealousy, love of the world.

The eethar of Ikrimah ibn abi jahl at the battle of Yarmuk:
All the wounded were gathered in a certain area until the battle was over. Ikrima's cousin was one of the water carriers i.e. those who were giving the wounded water to drink. He narrates, “I was searching for Ikrima and found him among the injured, wounded, in pain and about to die. He was surrounded by ten other wounded Muslims. I ran to give him water, but when he took the waterskin and was just about to drink he heard a Muslim brother saying, “I am thirsty!” He said “No, I swear by Allah I shall not drink unless my brother drinks first.” I moved to the second. When he was about to drink he heard another brother saying “Ah!” Then he said, “No, I swear by Allah I shall not drink.” Then I went to the next, and the next, and so on, until I reached the tenth soldier, who said “No, I swear I shall not drink unless Ikrima drinks.” I went back to Ikrima to find that he has already passed away as a martyr. He practiced 'eethar even when he was wounded and dying.”

The eethar of Aisha:
W when Omar Ibn-Al-Khattab (RA) was dying after being struck by Lo’lo’a Al-Majoosi, he asked his son Abdulla Ibn-Omar to go to Um al-Mo'mineen, Aisha (RA) and tell her, “Omar Ibn-Al-Khattab, and don’t tell her Amir Al-Mo'mineen for I am not so any more, tell her Omar Ibn-Al-Khattab is requesting your permission to be buried beside his friends (the Prophet (PBUH) and Abu-Bakr (RA)) in her room. She replied, “I wanted that place for myself, but I shall offer it to Omar”. Imagine that she was going to be buried beside her husband and father, i.e. the Prophet (PBUH) and Abu-Bakr (RA). What an honorable burial place! Despite this, the great lady agreed to be buried in the Baqee (a graveyard in Al-Madinah) and offered that place to Omar.

Eethar of Abdullah Ibn-Omar:
Abdullah Ibn Omar used to like the ayah, which can be translated as, “By no means shall you attain Al-Birr (piety, righteousness - here it means Allâh’s Reward, i.e. Paradise), unless you spend (in Allâh’s Cause) of that which you love; and whatever of good you spend, Allâh knows it well.”(TMQ 3:92).
-He gave away his fish dinner (nice story)

Imam al-Ghazaly says in his book Al-Ihyaa (The Revival), that there are three levels/grades of al-'eethar:
- First- to give your brother what you would give to a servant, i.e. you eat and give him your leftovers.
- Second- to treat him just like yourself i.e., you give him what you would take for yourself.
- Third- to prefer him over yourself, i.e. provide his needs before yours. His children, for example, will enter school and have no clothes, so before buying clothes for your own children you buy for his.

When we live only for ourselves, we live a short life where we are born small and die small! However when we live for each other we live as great people whose lives would last as long as humanity exists. If you live for others not only yourself, you will find your happiness in other peoples' smiles, your opportunities will be in other peoples' opportunities. You will be extremely happy when you find someone asking Allah (SWT), “May Allah be pleased with him, as he pleased me.” It is a strange yet a great feeling! Try it, and you will feel much more satisfied than you would have been if you had reaped all the benefits for yourself.

To conclude, a good man once said at the moments of his death, “My daughter I don’t fear death any more, even if it came now. I took a lot from life I mean I gave a lot! Sometimes my daughter it is very hard to differentiate between taking and giving, because for a believer they carry the same meaning. Every time I gave, I took. Actually I took more than I gave.”


-Let’s try to do an act of selflessness today